The Lazy Author’s Substack Funnel Guide

Okay, let’s start this pain in the ass.

To earn from your writing you need a “funnel” to pour traffic into, and then a means to convert that traffic into loyal readership.

Good news is, you’ve already got both with Substack.

Whether you built it intentionally or not, anyone who finds your work is already walking the path to loyal reader.

The problem is that path usually leads nowhere, or somewhere, but after a bunch of pit stops. Someone finds you, looks around for a second, gets confused about what to do next, and moves on. Yeah, it happens that quick. In marketing, we call that a “bounce” and they’re often measured in seconds.

Single digit ones.

This guide will focus on how to take your jumbled up mess of words into a clear, functioning path to revenue and value for your reader.

What a Funnel Is

A funnel is, in simple terms, just your reader’s journey to you. You can think of it as the hero’s journey if you like, but remember you’re not the hero.

You’re the elixir.

Like the hero’s journey, you’ve got a series of actions that need to take place before a viewer can become a reader. Before a farm boy becomes a king.

At the top of all funnels, you have awareness. This is the stage where people realize you exist and see you booping around. Some of them will be curious enough to explore who you are. A smaller number will start reading you regularly. An even smaller number will subscribe for free, to get your updates.

Then, finally after all that hard work, only a fraction of those people will pay you — ever, for anything.

Your job, as the author, is to make the process (funnel) of going from viewer to paid reader frictionless.

One Funnel, One Goal (to rule them all)

Substack authors have a ton of potential goals for themselves, but you need to decide what that main goal is and stick to it.

Let me tell you what your goal right now is: earning free subs and then converting them to paid subs.

That’s all. Think of nothing else but that. Except, of course, one clear, focused action that everything in your funnel is driving toward.

If you’re writing on Substack, that action is subscribing to your Substack. Not following you on every platform. Not buying your merch. Not liking your Notes and comments and passing your name around to their friends.

Those are bonuses from delivering exceptional content, not the main goal. For the love of, GOD, don’t be sitting around trying to write viral Notes all day.

Your job is to design everything around one frictionless flow:

1. They see the work

2. They like the work

3. They opt into the work

If you build that one clean line first, everything else you want later gets easier.

Luckily for you, Substack is MOST of the funnel. You have access to an audience, built in, and a subscription platform, built in, so the number of actions needed to realize the end goal of your funnel are few.

When I say frictionless, that’s what I’m referring to, lowering reader resistance by making things easy to do.

It’s the reason I don’t use a platform like Patreon or Ream, despite the greater level of monetization control on those platforms. People purchase on impulse, even when they don’t, and Substack makes it easy for them to do so.

Let me explain.

Folks often convince themselves that they’re researchers, or restrained buyers, but the truth is that they just need more exposure to fully tip over the ledge to purchase. It’s inevitable, it just takes longer. Whether they realize it or not.

If they like you and your work, it’s only a matter of time and structure before they cave in and love you properly.

Before you can design the rest of the funnel, you need to know how readers think.

What Readers Are Thinking at Every Stage

Remember, you’re not the hero, you’re the elixir. Focus only on what the reader is thinking.

Stage 1: Awareness

They have no idea who you are yet. Maybe they catch a post, a Note, a recommendation. The only thing running through their head is: "Is this going to be better than Emma Horsedick (Don’t Laugh)?" <- Substack joke.

It means: “Worth my time?”

And it’s happening so fast that they don’t know they’re thinking it.

You don’t have long to answer that question, either.

Your headline, your opening line, even your actual, mother and father given name, all of it either invites them to stay or pushes them away. You are either clear about what you offer, or you aren’t. There is no middle ground at this stage.

Stage 2: Interest

Now they’re paying a little bit of attention. They clicked something. They’re skimming. They’re trying to figure out whether you’re actually worth their limited energy.

At this stage, your job is to make everything obvious. What you write, why it matters, who it’s for. No cute riddles. No forcing them to dig through three pages of nonsense to figure you out. If it feels like work to understand you, they will leave.

Stage 3: Decision

They’re thinking about subscribing now. They like what they see. They’re hovering.

But they’re also wondering: "Is this going to spam me? Is this going to be worth my inbox space? What am I actually signing up for?"

This is where your value proposition has to be so clear that it erases hesitation. You’re not selling them on you. You’re telling them what they are going to get — and why it’s exactly what they’ve been looking for.

Stage 4: Loyalty

They subscribed. But that doesn’t mean they’re yours forever. They’re watching now. Waiting to see if you deliver. Waiting to see if they were right to trust you.

Every post you send after that either builds that trust or erodes it.

Consistency matters. Honesty matters. Clarity matters. If you say you’re posting gritty fantasy twice a month, and you suddenly vanish for three months or pivot into political rants, they will unsubscribe. And they will not come back.

You are not just writing stories. You are building a relationship. You owe them consistency if you expect loyalty.

How to Build Your Funnel Step-by-Step

Make it easy to find you. You need to show up where readers are. Notes. Recommendations. Occasional posts on other fiction sites if you have time. Visibility is step one, but it’s useless if you don’t back it up with a clear offer.

Make it obvious what you do. Your homepage, your pinned post, your About section — they should all instantly answer two questions: What kind of writing you do, and who it’s for. If you can’t explain your work in two sentences, you are losing people who would have loved you.

Give them a fast, satisfying experience. Your free posts should not be throwaways. They should be good enough that a reader says, "If this is what I get for free, what do I get if I pay?"

Push only one action. Subscribe. Not comment. Not share. Not sign up for five other things. Keep it simple.

If you confuse them with too many options, you will lose them at the decision point.

Deliver relentlessly. Once they’re in, you have to meet the expectation you set. Consistency is not about robotic output. It’s about respect. You told them what to expect. You need to follow through.

Earn loyalty before you ask for money, paid subscriptions are not a scam. They’re an extension of trust. If you skip the trust-building phase, you will not have a sustainable audience. Period.

Why Frictionless Funnels Win

Every unnecessary step, every confusing ask, every unclear expectation creates friction. Every piece of friction costs you readers.

You cannot afford to waste the attention of the people who already liked you enough to click. You can’t afford to make them guess whether you’re worth it. You need to make the experience of moving from stranger to subscriber so natural that they don’t even think about it.

If you keep it clean, if you make it obvious, if you respect the mental energy your readers are spending to engage with you, you will convert more of them without having to chase, beg, or bribe.

A good funnel doesn’t feel like a funnel to the person walking through it. It just feels like the right next step.

Final Word: Build for Value

Your funnel is not about how clever you are. It’s not about how edgy your branding is. It’s not about building some perfect machine that captures every possible reader.

It’s about building a real relationship with the people who are already primed to love what you do.

It starts by being clear about what you offer, giving people a real reason to care, making it dead-simple for them to stick around, and then doing the work consistently to keep them.

If you get that right, you’ll win.